I forced the ONI bot to read Ready Player 2 and this is the script that it created.
INT. THE MATRIX, OHIO
WADE WATTS was busy Three’s Companying his Jabba collection when a Full House of Lethal Weapons starts Fury Roading in the Thunderdome. At that moment everybody was kung-fu fighting for Jessie’s girl. The password to get into the ONItrix was “Where's the Beef, Alf!”
WADE
Got Milk? Halliday
HALLIDAY
You now own the 80’s. Please add a quarter to the Nintendo to get this pinball machine started.
WADE
Bazinga!
HALLIDAY
Time now to go to sleep.
WADE
Rest now in the name of Raphael, Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo.
HALLIDAY
Amen
INT. ONITRIX, INCEPTION, KEANU ST.
Wade is with a slightly average, but beautiful, normal girl who is hot--SAMANTHA. They are both hacking into Colecovision, while their Sega Master System downloads Short Circuit 2.
WADE
Top of the Power Rangers to you, Princess Zelda
SAMANTHA
I am a discount Trinity.
They make sweet avatar doll love while watching Empty Nest. Wade loses his virginity to a Spectrum ZX.
INT. SEVEN SHARDS OF EGGS
Wade is now treasure hunting for snap-on bracelets made by Smurfs who mine in Fraggle Rock. It is 42 o’clock (pause for laughter).
HALLIDAY
Find the seven sharts of Comicon!
WADE
You're killin' me smalls! X-Men 2!
Smashmouth’s “All-Star” plays. Wade Watts travels with Shrek to find the real reason kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Wade plays E.T. on his Atari. A secret key forms in his Mr. T cereal just west of Pee-Wee Herman’s bike.
WADE
Die Hard 3!
EXT. POINT BREAK, COLUMBUS,
Wade meets the bad guys. Michael J. Nielsen Ratings and Connor Lost Boys.
MICHAEL J. NEILSON
Give us the seven sharts so we can has 80’s for us.
CONNOR LOST BOYS
I hate you and literacy
WADE
Don’t have a cow man! Doh! He’s on fire! Pizza time!
MICHAEL J. NEILSON
You win again, Wade!
WADE
All your base are belong to us.
Wade begins to play air-hockey on Stephen King’s Christine. A large key shows up in his Dig-Dug lunch pal right next to a pristine copy of Caddy Shack 2 on VHS.
CONNOR LOST BOYS
Oh no, he Holy Grailed our Tommy Boy and now we have to Happy Gilmore his Voltron!
MICHAEL J. NEILSON
Hand me my Crystal Pepsi.
WADE
Stranger Things!
INT. ROUTE 66, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
Wade helps Dolby be a free elf, while in the OniTRIX. He finds out he can feel bullets. Meanwhile, Samantha is Knight Riding with the Delorean at the Deathstar. Ecco the Dolphin sings "Time After Time" while she travels.
SAMANTHA
You found the 7 sharts. You won the 80’s.
WADE
Snap! Crackle! Pop! You Shall Not Pass! Dude looks like a lady!
HALLIDAY
The ’80s was inside you the whole time
WADE
(dial-up noises)
Donkey Kong, Steve Irwin, Bob Villa, The Cast of Step By Step, Robert Downey Jr, and Blinky the Ghost jump in for a group high five.
Michael Jackson’s Monster Mash plays as credits roll
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