Mild Pepper Games

New Christian Game Console Requires Internet and That All Men Are Saved


The Dovebox, a Christian themed video game console, arrived in the market last week. Very little is known about the game system, except for its two requirements. The Dovebox must have an internet connection and every soul on the Earth must surrender to Jesus.

It's a steep requirement to ask for a steady wifi signal and for the hearts of humanity to repent of sin and darkness, but it's to be expected in today's technological market. It did not fare too well for the Xbox when the One required always-on internet, but times have changed. Dovebox merely needs the commitment that you will have a strong high-speed connection and the hearts and minds of every sinner conformed to the sacrifice of the Savior.

Upon booting up the Dovebox will ask for two things. It will ask to connect to a sturdy wifi and it will ask if every knee is bowed and every tongue has confessed Jesus as Lord. Once both are confirmed then you will be set up in a matter of seconds. Players will instantly be able to play Veggie Tales Adventures, Toby Mac's Rap Sesh, and Kirk Cameron PG-12 Mysteries.

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